(I wrote this at the beginning of the month to share on Facebook about our daughter's autism diagnosis since April is Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month, but I thought that it would be fun to share here on the blog since one day it will probably get lost to the Facebook abyss.)
1. My child is autistic. It's not the plague. Your kid isn't going to catch it. Yeah, she's socially awkward- but so are her parents (I mean, have you met us?). She's a pretty cool kid once you get past the obsession over pedestrians. She likes playing with other kids - on her terms, in her own way. She might need time to warm up or she might not. She loves big and once she meets you once, she's probably going to call you her friend. At softball practive, she might play a game of catch or she might build villages in the dugout. Just meet her where she's at and chances are she won't want to leave when it's time to go.
2. My child is autistic. That doesn't mean she's sad or angry all the time (she's generally a happy, cheerful kid!). She probably won't hurt your kid (any more than a neurotypical five year old might accidentally do)- and she's pretty sweet most of the time. She's happy. She laughs. She tells jokes (that really aren't funny, but just laugh along anyways). Yes, I'm sure she's autistic even though she smiles. She can be a joy to be around. Yes, we have hard days. But, we try to find the glimmers of hope in them.
3. My child is autistic. It's a spectrum disorder. I read once that you won't meet two autistic people that are exactly alike. She doesn't fit in a nice, neat little diagnosis box. That's why it took us until she was 4.5 years old to get diagnosed. We were happy that day. We knew what was coming and it was a relief to be heard. She's smart and learned to read when she was two. She talks up a storm (even though she didn't really talk until she was almost 2- making up for lost time, I guess). She doesn't flap her hands- but she does have other stims (I don't discuss these publicly for her privacy- it doesn't add anything). Please don't compare her to your neighbor's fifth cousin's uncle's nephew. They aren't the same. I get it. That doesn't mean that either one of them is less autistic. That doesn't negate the fact that they both have struggles.
4. My child is autistic. We homeschool. She's not autistic because we homeschool or because I didn't put her in preschool or MDO (if they'd change potty training policies, I would have sent her YEARS ago. But have you TRIED potty training an autistic toddler? That's all I'm saying on that topic). We do therapies (now- it took the diagnosis for insurance to cover them. I've been fighting with pediatricians for years for a referral). We tried ABA. It wasn't a good fit for us. I didn't find it abusive- my daughter liked it better than the K4 program we tried (that we kind of got asked to leave/kind of decided to leave). She loved her RBTs and BCBAs- we couldn't find an incentive that worked for her. She picked up some behaviors. It did help reduce her stimming (there are certain ones that we are trying to stop- we do allow ones that aren't harmful). It wasn't for us- but it might be for another child. No judgement here. She does speech therapy and occupational therapy (OT) and they are probably her favorite hours of the week because she loves "going to play".
5. My child is autistic. We don't support Autism Speaks. Pleasem please...don't give them your money. We don't support finding a cure, a genetic basis, or a genetic test for autism (we do support therapies and helping our child reach her full potential). Autism is a part of the way that God created my daughter. I love my daughter the way God made her. If I knew while pregnant that my daughter would be autistic- I still would have chosen to have her. I do not support the idea of adding autism to a genetics panel during pregnancy and choosing to terminate due to the diagnosis. I do not support eradicating autism. To me, that would be like someone saying "Let's eradicate everyone with brown hair!- hey that sounds like Hitler. Let's not do that. Don't be Hitler. Autism is a trait of my daughter- maybe it wasn't as obvious to us as her blonde hair at birth, but that doesn't mean that she wasn't made that way by God for a purpose.
If you have any more questions (or kind comments)- please feel free to ask! We do keep certain parts of our journey quieter publicly to protect our daughter's privacy and try to focus on sharing the positives on social media, but I am open to sharing more in depth about our struggles to help other parents who are starting the diagnosis journey or who have questions regarding their own children.
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